Janina Gutsche

Walking in Circles

In the past few weeks, I have increasingly felt that something inside me is shifting.

Not suddenly.

Not loudly.

But noticeably.

My perception is changing.

Things that once seemed logical suddenly feel wrong.

And things that others consider unreasonable are becoming clearer and clearer to me.

I have realized that for far too long, out of habit and familiarity, I moved within structures that gave me security, but never truly reached me at my core.

Who doesn’t know this?

You have your job. The one you learned.

Maybe you even stay in it until retirement because it is a safe system.

And yet I have heard many people say:

“Yes, but that’s what I learned, that’s my job.”

“If I started something new now… I don’t know.”

“But actually I always wanted to do this or that.”

Whether it’s a professional change, moving to another country, learning a new language, starting a sport, or finally putting a long-developed idea into action.

What usually happens is that, out of habit, we find ourselves surrounded by excuses about why all of this is not possible.

It’s not the right time.

The circumstances don’t fit.

If there are children, it’s not possible.

I also found myself in such excuses for a long time.

A really long time. Years.

But I believe this:

If something truly matters to you, and the desire eventually becomes strong enough, you stop looking for excuses.

You no longer focus on why something cannot work.

Instead, you focus on the question: How can it work?

The path is not always easy.

And sometimes everyone has to take a different route to reach the same destination.

But nothing — absolutely nothing — is impossible.

Over the years I have learned to follow my intuition and trust my inner voice.

And again and again it has proven that I was usually right to do so, even if it often seemed surprising to others.

Recently I have been thinking a lot about why some decisions in life feel so difficult — even when you actually know exactly what you want.

You feel the change.

You feel where things are meant to go.

And yet sometimes you stand there as if in front of an invisible threshold.

A few days ago I saw a small video.

An ant walking across the ground.

Someone drew a circle around it.

And suddenly it was only walking in circles.

I watched longer than I actually intended.

Maybe because in that moment I recognized a little bit of myself.

Not because I don’t want to cross the line.

But because sometimes that is exactly where fear sits.

Yes, I also feel this fear in certain situations.

And then I honestly check with myself whether I might still be finding excuses in some areas for things that supposedly cannot work.

Sometimes it is simply the question: “What if?”

And sometimes only one conversation, one sentence, or a moment of courage stands between you and answering that question.

And then I always come back to the same core thought:

Nothing is impossible.

Because what I do not want for my life is to do something that I do not truly stand behind.

Something that brings me no joy, just because it might seem easier.

Like everyone else, I only have this one life.

And that life is an incredible gift.

I believe that such a gift deserves to be treated with care — that we are allowed to use our time to do things that truly fulfill us.

Even if it means stepping out of our comfort zone.

Even if others do not understand it, or even think it is crazy.

At the end of the day, that is not what matters.

It is your own life.

And that is the most valuable thing you have.

And if I ever have children one day, this is exactly what I would want to give them:

To believe in themselves.

To trust their instincts.

And to have the courage to follow their own path.

Maybe the moment you stop walking in circles

is the moment you finally start following the direction

your heart has been pointing to all along.